Huntly 7 v Keith 0

MAROONS’ CATALOGUE OF DISASTERS

Well folks, this wasn’t so much a Hammer House of Horrors show, but a Huntly House of Horrors for Keith,  as a Maroons Catalogue of Disasters cruelly unfolded at Christie Park. I was looking forward to seeing Craig’s Commandos give free scoring Huntly a run for their money in the 178th Highland League tussle between the sides, in what was also co-captain Ryan “Robbo” Robertson’s 200th appearance for the Maroons.  As it turned out – “Robbo’s “involvement ended with a red card 25 minutes into the game.

Anybody who knows me will surely agree that I always try to be honest and truthful in my take of a game, and report it as it is. Here’s my time-line on proceedings, perhaps going a long way to highlighting why Keith suffered their biggest Christie Park league loss since an 8-1 gubbing on New Years Eve 1949.

Referee blaws his peeper to set the game in motion.
2 Mins – Callum Murray’s shot strikes the cross bar, the ball hits Craig Reid on the back and falls kindly for Sam Robertson to pounce and slam home from six yards.
4 mins – Ronan Craib limps off to be replaced by Scott Barron.
25 mins – Ryan Robertson produced a rash challenge on Owen Morris at the far side of the pitch – receiving an instant red card for his pains.  Was it as a red? I was too far away to say for certain.

The Maroons regrouped at this stage, and were making a fist of it – that is, until . . .
37 mins – Craig Reid came rushing out of his charge, fumbled the ball and slipped, falling heavily on the edge of the box, allowing Morris to nip in and slot into the empty net.
42 minutes – Reid finally left the field of play, with what appeared to be a dislocated shoulder, Scotty Barron donning the goalie’s jersey and gloves, with no substitute goalie available on the bench.

Still 2-0 at half-time, but then the floodgates opened . . .
21 seconds after the re-start Morris fired a low shot home
57 mins – Lewis Crosbie whipped the ball into the net from 8 yards
58 mins – an Alexander Thoirs drive took a deflection off Jamie Milne and flew into the roof of the net
80 mins – Brodie Allen converted another low 15 yarder
86 mins – Huntly fans were in Seventh Heaven as Allen slotted home another shot.
90 mins – Referee blaws his peeper to put those of us of a Maroon persuasion out of our misery.

Strangely, despite a seven-goal mauling, I take my hat off to the Keith players, facing an uphill climb for most of the game; the heads didn’t go down, they didn’t capitulate, and the brave Scotty Barron was powerless to stop any of the goals. 

By the way, I also can’t remember the last time the Captain’s Armband nestled on three different arms in the same match – starting off with Robbo, then the unfortunate Craig Reid, and finally worn by Jordan Cooper.

KEITH – Reid (Milne 42), Lynch, Buchan, Craib (Barron 4), R Robertson, Cooper, C Wilson (Killoh 62), McKeown, Alberts (Stewart 62), Ormsby, Duncan (J Wilson 46). Subs unused – Ironside, Spink.

Referee – Mr O Lawrence

Saturday 15th March 2025, KO 3pm
Report by Charlie Simpson